Bernadine's Rage

I'm ready.

I've never felt so ready to take the next step and get on with my life. I see the possibilities and have finally come to the conclusion that hubby and I were NEVER right for each other.

But, now that I'm ready, things seem to be moving at a snails pace and it's frustrating.

See, I want him to pay for a POD for his things. My neighbors have already volunteered to help as much as they can to load said POD full of his belongings. The only things stopping me is the money. A middle size POD costs about $270.00. Now, I know you're thinking, why don't I just go to one of those public storage place that have a 1st month free deal? People, those public storage "deals" are pure marketing. There are various fee's involved (administrative fee's, deposits, etc) that add up to or more than the actual rental fee. This is not including the fact that I have to rent a U-Haul or Ryder truck to be able to load everything up or that I have to have some people load everything in the truck with me....and then unload it...etc.

It's a hassle for me especially for the fact that all this inconvenience is for someone who was abusive to me. I almost feel like I'm getting abused all over again and that the word "Sucker" should be tattooed on my forehead. I'm being co-dependent again and I don't want to be.

I think the absolute worst thing would be signing divorce papers and then coming home to the chaos of all of his stuff. I want it out! Now.


He hasn't gotten back to his attorney about this and it's been two weeks. I'm thinking his passive resistance is another manipulative way for him to make sure I pay for, not only the divorce filing that we had agreed upon, but the POD as well.

I pay for everything and I move everything. He gets off with being lazy again...

Not fair!