Hunky-Dory

I had an amazing massage today. The great thing about being in the salon industry, is you're able to barter your services with others in the industry. Job perk.

While I was laying there in a semi-catatonic state, my mind started to wander.

Why did God let me see my husband yesterday?

I have been chuckling all day at the sight of him running at top speed to get away from me. It made me feel like a stalker even though I haven't communicated with him since March. There he was in all his glory and I'm sure, if he could, he would have been screaming.(Ahhhhh....!!)

As the massage therapist is getting all the knots out of my back, I think about how he looked. He didn't look that great. Not this Adonis I thought he would turn into after he stopped eating my lasagna. The receding hairline was there (think, Eddie Munster), he was wearing all the same clothes from before with a shirt that was too short, and he must have bought new shoes.

Being a white guy with a size 13 shoe, you think he would know to not buy huge white basketball shoes, right? He looked so ridiculous with that little tiny shirt, khaki shorts, and his lily-white legs running down the street in those big ass white shoes. LOL, he wants so much to look like his little Asian "gangster"   friends, that he dismissed the fact that, well, he may be a dork.

By the time the massage therapist was at my arms, I figured out what God was up to.

He wanted me to see how this man that I thought would be looking so hawt that every woman would want him, in reality, looks like an idiot.

God, I feel, also wanted to show me that the chaos and drama in his life was still there. I knew that freaked out speed walking thing he was doing because I have seen it many many times before. What it means is, someone's frustrated with him and he's pissed or some version of him being a victim to someone else, whichev. It was the drama march. When he was in his drama march, he could out run most people. He's like lightening, but this one was particularly fast.

Since he was coming from the friend's house he's been staying at and going towards the other friends house he works with, seems as though there are issues surrounding his living situation. Maybe, it isn't all hunky dory for him right now. All this time I thought he was moving on seamlessly, but maybe he wasn't.

He wasn't the one who changed, it was me looking at him through my eyes. I have changed.

I have men looking at me now. I have people looking at me weirdly once I state I have a teenage boy and saying, "you do NOT look old enough to have a teenager." 

I am looking good and feeling good....and I like it :)