Thursday, July 19, 2012

Stalking

I got a call from my lawyer; my ex is accusing me of stalking him.

Never mind the fact that we live in the same neighborhood and I have owned a house here since before we even met. In fact, I have lived in this neighborhood for over 20 years and he just moved here 5 years ago.

I can't help that he has decided to stay in the neighborhood and I also can't help that we may or may not pass each other on one of the two roads getting in or out of this neighborhood.

Honestly, I'm too tired to stalk anyone. I'm still grinding through the coupon people at my work. I have only gotten to 120 out of the 400 that were sold. If I was interested in stalking, I'd have to hire someone to do it for me and since the coupon people don't tip, it would be impossible.

No, this is all about the other day when I had a brain fart. Ugh, now, his lawyer believes that I was to still stay married because I haven't filed and, of course, I'm stalking him.

Can this get any better?

Well, at least I have taken up reading smut. Yes, I am devouring the "50 Shades of Grey" books this summer.

Christian Grey (the hero of the book) is so delicious. I see that actor Armie Hammer as him and Shailene Woodley as the heroine of the book, Anastasia (although, I'd rather see me).

I feel for men. How can they ever live up to a fictional guy? Christian Grey isn't lazy about work or sex, even and he adores his woman. I know, it's hard for men. Close to impossible.

Can I be 22 again with hymen intact this time so I can catch me an amazingly handsome billionaire?

Ex-husband say what??

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