Weight is just a symptom

Something that has always bothered me since the get go is other people's perceptions of fat.

Actually, I should say, men's perceptions of fat.

My soon-to-be ex hubby became inwardly freaked when I gained a couple of pounds. Even though he gained weight, he became more critical and mean to me. He decided to not take me anywhere or do anything with me because of how the world would view him.

Never mind the fact that he would drink every night (even hiding bottles in the garage), would play video games (Yes,World of Warcraft, bleech), smoke pot, and not work. That behavior was okay, but me getting fat because I'm living in fear...is NOT acceptable.

Women are supposed to be on a higher level than men. We are supposed to be stronger and not able to lose it when we're living a crisis situation. So much is put on our shoulders about being perfect while men can become fat, drunk, drug addicts, etc.

First off, you should have considered from the start whether this is the right spouse for you, keeping in mind that physical attraction does matter. Over time, people rarely get thinner or better-looking. 

I know most men don't like fat women and maybe that is why women are fat. Maybe they just can't take it anymore and don't want to be a sexual object for a while.

Have these husband's or boyfriends ever thought about the underlying issue at the core of the weight gain? A healthy couple often becomes more attractive to each other over time because of their fond feelings and shared history. So there has to be an emotional gap or something definitely wrong in the relationship.

Men: maybe you should figure out what the real problem in your marriage is — in other words, confront the emotional issues. Explore why she has put on the weight, what food is replacing for her emotionally and why she isn't tuned in to or sympathetic to how this is making you feel. Be supportive of your wife rather than being a dick.

If she wants to lose weight, work on that with her. You can exercise and cook healthy meals together. In other words, be supportive.

Love your wife. Remember, you're in it for the long haul.