Lucy and Ricky

I blame "Lucy and Ricky" for my problems.

What I mean is, I blame my parents for my problems who look suspiciously like Lucy and Ricky Ricardo.

It all started today when I went to my therapy appointment. I didn't have anything to talk about because, after making the decision to throw my lazy drunk-ass husband to the curb finally, I've been happy. In fact, I'm actually elated.

I have made a decision and it's on my terms (cue Sinatra signing "My Way").

People, the stress is gone and I can see the possibilities of my new life. It's amazing! I might actually have sex with someone who cares about what I feel (sigh of relief). I'm in awe.

Anywho, then comes therapy, the big buzz-kill. My therapist spends a lot of time in Latin America and was telling me examples of her various experiences in working with women in this patriarchal society. Than comes the question: "Did you ever find anything like that in your mom and dad?"

(Thud) The question literally took my breath away. My mom, normally so brazen and confident would diminish herself around men. She would capitulate and kowtow to the male species.

Was it because she didn't grow up with a dad? Was it because she met my MUCH older father when she was only 21 and he molded her that way? Did my grandma do it and my mother modeled her? My sister and I both have son's and I think we might treat them just a little differently.

Grandma had my uncle and treated him worse then my mother. I know if my mother had a son, she would have treated him like a God the way my sister and I do to our son's.

Whatever the cause, I have been reeling since that darn appointment. Why did I give special significance to the boys/men?

Oh my god, all my women's studies classes and I'm a fraud!

Gloria Steinem, please forgive me...