Typically, I would never do a LivingSocial promotion, but it seemed like the perfect remedy to keep my mind busy through a nasty separation.
Yesterday, was supposed to be a good day. I mean I've lost 25 pounds already. Never mind it being because of my constant state of nausea, the point is, I lost it.
I am walking on air as I prance my way to work. The LivingSocial promotion has sold close to 400 coupons and I am booked for yet another 12 hour day. Currently, I'm working 6 days a week because the coupon people have commandeered my online scheduler. You never want to get in the way of a coupon person and their right to cash in a discount.
I'm enthusiastic though and practically dance my way to my first facial/coupon client. The first lady gave me love and hugs. Praised my technique and my ability to make her skin look so nice. As I look over at the table, I see she has left no tip. I asked if she truly enjoyed the facial (*hint, hint*) and she said yes. Now, this isn't a surprise for me because most coupon people do not tip...at all. Do they know I am getting only 50% of the cut on that facial and that my profit is a measly $17 bucks per facial?
The next client hands me a wad of bills that looks like she found them in the bottom of the laundry pile. It's $3.00 and I'm going to need some sterilizing gel after picking them up.
Third client is a lovely mid-50's very slim patrician looking woman. Well coiffed and conservative looking. She says since she'd hit menopause, her skin is dry. As I get started, I can't help but notice that she is rambling in her elegant way about different maladies that have happened during her post-menopausal state.
Mid-50 malady: "You know the doctor says I'm pear shaped and that can pose problems down the line for me."
Me: "Wait, I'm pear shaped. What did he say?"
Mid-50 malady: "He said pear shaped dear, not tomato."
Forth coupon client bursts into my room. I'm used to this by now. Like I said, you don't want to interfere with a coupon person and their ability to redeem a discount.
She's petite, blonde, mid-50's, and yes, like most of the coupon clients, she's wealthy. I started getting suspicious about the time she was asking me specific questions about my relationship. Then she tells me she has 3 daughters, my husband is now dating a girl. One daughter lives in Montreal. Holy crap, my husband is dating a girl who lives in Vancouver, B.C. (it's all Canada, right?). Her youngest daughter is 19 and lastly, I know it's a spy because the girl my husband is dating is...19!
Oh, this so makes sense to me now. See, my husband and her daughter got together and being the conscientious mother she is, wanted to check me out. Luckily she had the LivingSocial coupon or maybe they were seeing each other before that and she just bought the coupon then.
I couldn't let this opportunity go. She must know the truth! So I started saying horrible things about my husband. Letting her know we have only been separated just 3 months now, he's got 3 garnishments against him, and he's got a drinking problem. Oh, it just goes on and on until I see she has a really uncomfortable smile. In fact, I think she may be a little frightened. I try to back track and make light of it, she asks how a 19 year old could be with a man in his 40's.
Me: "Oh, he's not in his 40's, he's in his 30's."
Frightened coupon lady: "Wow, you must be the cradle robber in that relationship?"
I actually thought I looked good that day.
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